The bad news came last January on Lileiti “Leia” Grew’s 36th birthday.
Her family came back from celebrating and she saw a note on her door, explaining that the East Palo Alto home where she’d lived for 12 years and raised two sons was up for sale. She had a job at a bank, qualified for subsidized housing and knew how to manage money. But this was the Bay Area — more specifically this was Silicon Valley — and she could see the tough road ahead.
“I know everyone talks about subsidized housing (vouchers) like, ‘Oh, I wish I could have that,’” Grew said. “But it’s actually really tough to find landlords that are taking them because, you know, they can charge people who work at Facebook three times the amount of rent.”
The months after Grew’s April eviction were a struggle, burning through savings, living in motels, out of a car and finally in a shelter. But she fought to make things as normal as possible for her boys — finding an anchor of community and normalcy at their regular football practices. Then a new home in Oakland was found, and that’s where The Chronicle’s Season of Sharing Fund came in, providing move-in costs including the deposit on the rental.
I know everyone talks about subsidized housing (vouchers) like, ‘Oh, I wish I could have that,’” Grew said. “But it’s actually really tough to find landlords that are taking them because, you know, they can charge people who work at Facebook three times the amount of rent
Season of Sharing works year-round to prevent homelessness and hunger in the Bay Area, with administrative costs covered by The Chronicle and the Evelyn and Walter Haas Jr. Fund.
During a career working in banks as a relationship manager, Grew gave advice on loans and financial planning. After her eviction, she was forced to turn that skill set toward her own survival, keeping her children in school and extracurricular activities while searching for a new home.
Her two teen daughters went to live with their grandparents in Oakland, while Grew began looking for housing in the East Bay. Her sons, 11-year-old Donta McNack and 6-year-old Rhyis McNack, chose to stay with their mother, even when they were forced into a shelter.
“We were living out of a U-Haul truck. We were living out of a rental car,” she said. “We were able to live in motel rooms until we couldn’t afford it anymore.”
Grew said she tried to set a brave and confident example around her children, promising herself she would cry only in the shower, where they couldn’t see. But she insisted on facing the challenge head on, with no shame. Even after one potential Oakland landlord offered promising words then ghosted her, she kept telling herself there would be a happy ending, and every trial would make the family stronger.
“I looked at my sons’ faces and there was no giving up. They need to see me overcome this,” Grew said. “They need to see me continue to smile, and I had to be willing to take any step to help them. So I reached out to a few organizations.”
She found two that fit perfectly. Grew was accepted by LifeMoves, a San Mateo County-based shelter that would keep her family safe, while helping to find a new home in Oakland where she spent part of her own childhood.
I looked at my sons’ faces and there was no giving up. They need to see me overcome this,” Grew said. “They need to see me continue to smile, and I had to be willing to take any step to help them. So I reached out to a few organizations.
And the boys joined the Oakland Dynamites, a youth football team that has had its own trials including a pair of shootings near a practice and a game in the last two years. The organization has taken the resulting drama as a sign that children in East Oakland need them more than ever.
Donta’s 11-under team was undefeated during the regular season, but Grew said the win streak isn’t what’s most important to her family. As a single mother who lost her brother to cancer in 2014, she said the volunteer football coaches provided both an escape and positive values for her boys.
“Here with football, I have a whole village,” Grew said. “They get the camaraderie, they get to work, they get the development, but they also get an extended family, that makes them feel safe and included.”
Unknown to the team, the search for a home continued through the beginning of the summer. Grew said her heart broke when her younger son asked, “Do you think we’ll have a place to live by Christmas?” The words resonated, and gave her a new goal.
Good news came in July, when an East Oakland apartment came up for rent. But the landlord needed a deposit and rejected her offer for a payment plan. That’s when Season of Sharing helped out.
It was the final hurdle to their new life, and Grew said the family jumped with joy when the assist came through. They hadn’t had their own space in months — sharing a bathroom at the shelter with even worse options before that.
“We were sharing a bathroom with strangers,” Grew said. “And, I mean, we still feel blessed at that moment because we didn’t have to beg to use the McDonald’s bathroom, you know, because the pandemic kind of made people crazy about restrooms.”
Now the family lives within walking distance of their practices, in a modest but bright and spacious-feeling beige house with orange trim. The family can gather up their purple Dynamites uniforms and Leia’s matching “McNack Momma” jersey, and enjoy the stability of their new home.
Grew said once they had a home, she told the Oakland Dynamite family that they had been unsheltered. The team was shocked. But now that she got past the challenge, she’s pledged to be open about what happened, hoping it might lessen the shame for others in the same situation.
The family still has almost no furniture, but a huge weight has still been lifted. The boys are responding well to school, and Grew is thinking about a future using her people skills and financial experience from banks to consult with others who find themselves in similar circumstances.
Season of Sharing gave us our confidence back,” Grew said. “We were able to keep a promise to my son.
Her older son, who once wanted to go to Stanford, has shown interest in Historically Black Colleges and Universities as a goal. She was surprised to find the class sizes are smaller in Oakland, and her younger son looks forward to school.
“Season of Sharing gave us our confidence back,” Grew said. “We were able to keep a promise to my son.”
Peter Hartlaub (he/him) is The San Francisco Chronicle’s culture critic. Email: phartlaub@sfchronicle.com Twitter: @PeterHartlaub